Holy Crap...

...I'm going bald

It all started when Clauds saw how much hair I have left in the drain of the shower,

"Dude..ummm, that's a lot of hair"

No worries I say, completely normal. It is. Dave has had to live with me for a year and he knows. He will be sitting in the lounge and he will feel like he is in the old west as giant tumble weeds made of my hair float past. It is to the point of embarassing really, but without fail every time I go the the hairdresser they say, "My what thick hair you have!"

And so the weeks went by and I teased Clauds by showing her how much hair came out after I washed it, sparking cries of 'Ewwww' and 'Gross!' But little by little I started to notice the loss as being more constant. A couple of days ago I sat down and ran my fingers through my hair and said I would stop once my hand came away with 10 or less strands on it. 2 minutes later it didn't stop. I suddenly realised that I have been losing about half a fingers width of hair every day for quite some time now.

Now my mind flashes to the book 'Holy Cow', where an Australian girl is travelling around India. One of her many trials and tribulations is that she suffered massive hair loss, to the point of being bald.

And she got fat.

I could come back fat and bald.

Panic made me think of all the possible culprits for my scalp unloading its precious cargo:
"It's because it's summer Clauds, and I left in summer, so it's like one and a half years worth or summer straight. I always malt more in summer I swear!"
Clauds picks up her hair brush to show me the 12 strands sitting in it, "And I haven't cleaned it since Delhi". I fight the urge to stick the brush up her nose.

Then I think it's because I have grown my hair so long that the little strands are just jumping off my head cause they can't grow any more. But when I wrap my hand around my ponytail I realise that my hair has been longer with a thickness double what it is now.

So I hit google and joined all the 80 year old women of the world in typing into the search engine: 'How to stop female hair loss'

Lots of waffling on about hereditary disorders, (here's looking at YOU Dad) and skipping over the 'massage your scalp in a circular motion for five minutes' crap, I strike gold.

"A lack of protein in your diet can be a large contributor to hair loss".

Lack of protein, protein in red meat, LACK OF MEAT MAKES ME BALD!!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!

My initial urge to run down a holy cow and consume it whole was quickly brought to heel...mostly. Now I have to be 'aware' of what I eat for probably the first time in my life. Not eating meat has been kind of easy being that it's India. But now I have to up my protein level.

Help people. What has protein in it besides eggs? I don't want to eat tofu because it tastes like rubber that had taste extrication surgery done on it.

I had images of me stepping off my plane home being very tanned, slim and trim and a full head of hair of course. Now there is a real possibility that I will need to invest in colourful head scarves with funny and distracting phrases.

xoxo
Sim